Ever feel like the other party has the upper hand during negotiations? Have you ever felt like you are the one in the “desperate seat”? Here are three tips to keep in mind when going to the table of any negotiation.

  1. Talk as Little as Possible

    I’ll go the grave telling people the key to doing better in ANY business situation is to listen. In negotiations, when you listen more than you talk, you are gaining the upper hand because you are gathering important information about what the other side hopes to accomplish and what is important to them. As you listen, you also give yourself the advantage of learning what could kill a deal, where you may be able to ask for more, where you agree/disagree, etc., all of which helps you be more creative. On the other hand, if you talk more than you listen, you’re giving the other side the advantage.

  2. Check Emotions at the Door

    Negotiations can get scary. Tactics used by some in negotiations are to meant to draw you out, rush you, frustrate you, make you impatient. When this happens, it is very important to maintain your cool. As soon as you start to lose it, you are playing into their game. To get your counterpart(s) back on track, get them to talk. I recommend lowering your voice to almost a whisper, and start asking questions and/or acting confused; “what do you mean?”, “can you help me out?”, “I don’t understand”. Keep this going until the discussion gets back on track. By the way, it’s fun!

  3. Always Be Prepared to Walk Away

    The best salesperson is the one who has a lot of business ready to close. Prospects sense it. Likewise, in negotiations, if you have alternatives, your confidence shows. You radiate to the other party something different. You become more appealing. However, avoid being cocky and do not disclose your alternatives as this can lead to a hostile situation and one that can negatively affect your purpose. But if done right, your counterpart will feel they need to satisfy you to get a deal done… and why wouldn’t they, right?

To me, negotiating has become one of the more fun aspects of business as I’ve become better at doing the aforementioned. There are numerous books about negotiating (off hand I recommendNegotiating Rationally) that you can read to better hone your skills to help you get what you want out of the deal. Good luck!